You read it, you can't unread it

"I wanna know what it would be like if I were a human, being a robot is great! but we don't have emotions and sometimes that makes me sad" - Bender, Futurama

I'm writing this because I just wanted to put a little friendly reminder out there, seeing that there are so many people I encounter who makes me think of these issues, and feels this way. So many people.. seriously.

So.. Starting with some simple questions..

How can you expect or want anyone to care about you on a certain level, if you don't care about them on that same level? How can you expect anyone to give you services if you're not willing to return them on that same level? You might say "I don't expect that", you might say that you don't expect anything from anyone. But a truth is, that with every little dream or vision comes a possible expectation or hope for an expectation. With every need comes an expectation or hope for an expectation, a hope that we CAN expect something from someone - anyone - and that they can expect something of you. We want to fulfill each others lives. We want our own lives to be fulfilled, not just by things, but by people being in our lives. Being cared for, but also caring for others and taking care of oneself. We want to make someone beside ourselves happy, make things better, because otherwise, let's face it - we're wasting our time. The spark of life is love, the light is love. That's why being abandoned is one of the worst traumas in life because we feel like we've failed as people - as those beings suppose to belong to a group. Being left behind or pushed away makes you feel like you're not important, like you're not worth anything to anyone, and as these beings that we are, we have a need to feel needed by the group, this includes a partner, or perhaps most importantly a partner - which would then be the most intimate group. Suddenly you feel very replaceable. Being traumatized in this way changes your entire outlook on life.

It would be silly to believe that we don't need anyone but ourselves. When the people we feel are helping us the most/enriching our lives the most, are leaving us for a while, it's natural to want someone else to fill that spot in their absence. But it's not really possible because everyone is unique and will inevitably play different parts/roles. To say that people are replaceable and that you know you are too, that is giving up on self worth and the worth of others. That is giving up on letting someone truly mean something to you on another than just a temporary level. Because different people can have the same function in your life for sure, but it is not about function - it's not just about "service". It's about mutual trust, care AND service. 

But in contrast to this, one mustn't ever forget that you're the only one you truly have and will always have. So the most important thing to do becomes to take care of yourself and keep moving forward. You might not realize but you have much to be proud of and you will keep making yourself proud, by caring for yourself and never stop trying to make yourself happy. You can heal the world by starting with healing yourself. When you notice a problem inside of you that you can't solve on your own it's easy to feel like you don't function properly, but this is not the case - of course! We can try, but we can't solve absolutely everything on our own, and not being able to solve things on our own doesn't mean we're failures at human experiences, it only means that we're having human experiences (not that you should ever use that as an excuse though, careful now). 

We're all scared, it's the human condition. It's hard to plan things in a world of chaos, it's hard to feel completely free in a society where everything revolves around money. I've always hated money - hated the system and norms. I don't think many people feel like they even belong in it. But it's like people don't want change, TO change, change is scary to them, because you don't know what could happen, right? And we need to feel like we have things under control, and know what to expect. But change is what this world is all about, that's how we move forward - evolution - it's how we grow. So even if you're scared now, know that it's necessary and that you will benefit from it - it will throw you on a path that will lead you home. 

Because all roads lead home in the end. 

When you have the courage to let yourself make someone happy, and simultaneously let them make you happy, you'd be surprised how easy life can be and how naturally things will fall into place. But it takes courage, it really does. Because if it's not change we're scared of, it's being hurt, not being good enough, and again - abandonment.