As much as I hate to complain, the past few weeks have been a little like a taste of hell. Nausea, fatigue and life changing decisions. Not to mention disturbingly long travels. It seems time has moved rather quickly though, from a month ago being in Australia, to being in New Zealand, to now being in Sweden, staying in a small cottage next to a lake. Yesterday I got a glimpse of heaven again when I smelt the amazing summer evening dew. It brought back wonderful memories and filled me with a longing I haven't felt in quite a while..
Something strange happens when you stop everything you're doing and just observe and feel the world around you. You may realise that all your decisions in life aren't really that big after all. In the greater sense, we're mere human beings, trying to make our existence meaningful and enjoyable, however we go about it. When I stop to breathe, when I stop to feel my being breathing, human life as we live it today disappears. In fact none of it seems real.
I've found myself in a situation when just observing isn't good enough anymore. I'm forced to leave my humble watch tower to participate - take part in something that is quite abstract, yet so natural and such a profound part of every beings's existence. I wonder why I find it so scary. Scary but beautiful. I wonder if there will be a way for me to continue on my own journey as an observer, whilst teaching another being the ways of life as a participant. I'm happy to be given this chance though, to live fully, to understand this world fully. And so a new adventure begins.
