Another year begins!

Wow.. Another year huh? And what a year it's been. I'm happy and proud of everything I've accomplished, and the recent year has indeed been an interesting one. A lot of travelling and a lot of different homes. I'm proud of my own efforts, I really am. I'm also proud of all my loved one's efforts, and happy for their achievements and success. And what better way to welcome a new year than out in nature with my family, around a fire next to the ocean. The arctic ocean sure, but that didn't stop my brother and my sister's boyfriend to go for a quick dip in the icy salt water. (I thought about joining them but got too bothered by the thought of getting THAT cold)

My hair smells of campfire smoke and it's quite comforting, as I'm lying here in my bed, ready to fall asleep soon and wake up in the morning to meet another dark day. The scent reminds me of so many good times, all in good company. Today I realised that I really am at my happiest when I'm outdoors, and I really should for that reason choose to start a life in a country that allows me to be outdoors around the clock (- and year). Even if it was dark today - as all days here - one could still see the outlines of a couple of mountains, and hear the waves gently roll onto the shore. It was beautiful and a perfect end of 2013 and a perfect beginning of 2014.

Soon I will stand on familiar ground again, and the sun will shine on me. This year will be another great year of learnings and more growing, new connections and deepening of connections. I will go to the places that are calling on me and enjoy all the freedom I have. More adventures awaits!

The Christmas Tree

What has sleep become when it's not a rest anymore.

Four months in this part of the world, two of them in darkness. 

The mind doesn't know where to be anymore.

I find myself not living in the world of life that I know and am familiar with, but amongst man-made things and rock. 

It's a toughness in self-love, yet a gentleness that one would only find in a creators love for her creations.

So I must rescue myself from a bad situation once more.

Because..

I just want to touch a tree again. 

I just want to smell morning dew again.

I just want to feel a warm wind against my skin again.

I just want to stand in the luke warm ocean water again.

I just want to feel the sun in my face again.

I just want a warm embrace again.

In this moment I realise that I even miss the flies. I miss the ants and the bees, and all the other small living beings that one usually doesn't take note of or value, but that we compete with subconsciously throughout our lives for space and energy. 

How could I possibly communicate my surroundings. How could I ever forget. 

This chapter is written with a bird's feather on animal skin, with ink made out of coal mixed with icy water.

I would never have guessed, that one day I would be able to relate to a Christmas tree.

To the rescue

When enough is enough, let it be so, and start climbing out of that muddy hole you feel you are stuck in. Sometimes all you need to do is stop and look, and just address the problem, when you do this, the answer will surely be there - we know more than what we think. What keeps us from feeling that we know, are all the walls we put up, all the facades. It distances us from honesty. Honesty defining so much more than just being sincere. Honesty is about looking inward, as deep as you possibly can, and then use the knowledge that you find there, directing it and allowing it to reach the surface of your being into this world. It might sound exaggerated, but believe me, this way of thinking allows one to be simple - more simple than you might think..

Sometimes the most complicated appearing things, are really the simplest ones. 

As always, things are harder to understand from the outside perspective. But looking through the perspective of the actual source of the matter, and it's quite simple. Remember that other people's influences on you are also part of that outside perspective. That's seemingly why it can be difficult to understand even yourself sometimes, because you relate to those influences. It's a part of life, it's a part of living to be not only yourself, it's natural and how this world works, regardless of what we would prefer. However.. As to all things with layers, there is always a core, and as to all things in general, there is always a source. There is a remarkable difference between all these places. From where you think you're standing, to where you actually are standing. From where you feel you have been, to where you know you are going. The place you can always find for sure, is your core. Not the humanoid ever changing ever growing organism's core (which would only be a part of it), but your actual being's core. 

The friendly reminder; Life and you

I find myself in a moment right now, where I once again realise that I've somehow put aside my own true aspirations and let myself be too involved in someone else's way of life. Thinking things through, I suddenly realise too the parts of the everyday me that are truly me, and no one else's influence. When you surround yourself with different people, it's easy to get lost, and to get influenced in many various ways, not saying that this is always bad, but sometimes I think that this is what mostly confuses people. When they subconsciously submit to someone else's way of thinking and feeling and forget how they really want to live and be, and feel themselves, and not only want, but simply who they really are without trying. 

I find myself caught inside a reminder, like I just read a mental note I placed in my head as a child. Things have become clearer and clearer with every day, week, month, year.. Ironically the clearer things become, the more confused I feel about humanity, and that what really matters is put aside in most cases regarding most people. Are they trapped inside someone else's view? Have they been mislead by someone or something that didn't know they were misleading? And how are things really suppose to be?

Everyone would surely have their own answer to that. 

So many times I've felt misunderstood by people. And so many times I've felt misunderstood even by myself. Maybe because I've been living partly always by someone else's rules, even though I haven't really wanted to. 

We are raised to be independent. We are taught that being dependant is unattractive (- to need other people, hell, I know I was raised like that). But the meaning of being dependant in today's society means something completely different to what it meant thousands of years go. Being independent then would probably only mean being able to survive on your own until you find a group of people you can live with and work together with (isn't that kind of funny?). Now independency is something that roughly means going through life trying to manage to do everything yourself and on your own, and in conjunction with that you're suppose to have friends and family that can help you out only when you really need their help, and if you do need their help you're suppose to feel a bit ashamed about it, like it hurts your pride. And for some reason being dependant on someone means that you're not capable of living a fulfilling life and not capable of taking care of yourself. To what extent is all this? How far gone are we?

My only "dream" in this world is to live a happy life together with people and other beings. It's about a system that feels natural and is without shame of oneself for something one shouldn't feel ashamed of. It's about sharing and caring, and trusting, and giving and taking. It's about consciousness and awareness, and compassion, and consideration. And yet, few people seem to understand these fundamental things. And when I try to explain to someone what my dream is, what I want to do with my life and how I want to live it, it goes beyond their understanding. It would be but a dream, an unrealistic way of life that doesn't comply with the political and consumer system and society. It doesn't comply with a career within that world, which for some reason is so important for everyone to have (well of course it is, without it the system is not encouraged). And I wonder why it would be so bad, or debilitating to live in harmony instead of trying to go against what feels natural because, everyone else is doing it (I mean is that why? Is that the reason? Surely there must be a reason which  benefits our wellbeing……)

Why do we need to feel all this shame? Why do we need to make each other feel bad about our dreams?

Why do we need to feel like we have power over other people and beings? Why do we need to compromise with ourselves just to get by everyday? Is it just me, or does it feel like we're kind of striving for the same things, but plan to get there in all the wrong ways?

I've been thinking about this for years.. And for years I've heard that you have to, you HAVE to, be a part of the system in order to one day "sort of" break free from it (because there's no real escaping). That the ONLY way to live the way you want, is through money, you need money for everything, to be able to create the life you want to live. But does that mean that we don't live our lives every day then? Does that mean we can only truly live after we've put ourselves through this madness that make thousands of people scared and depressed and tired and sick? I can hear that saying echo in my head again "life is hard". I say it shouldn't be. I say we have the means inside of us to change that saying into another - "life is good".

To get places you don't need money, you need people. Because, look around yourself, what do you see? Observe all the activities that occurs around you, what is there but living beings and the elements of nature. Everything that is man-made, is just that, made by man. Money didn't build the society we live in today, we did. And so, what are we? And who are we to be blinded by power, and let that aspiration take away our humanity.

We are not broken. We have only forgotten. The modern society is not something to fear, but what has build it is the aspiration of power, and THAT is something to fear. It's the one thing that is truly wrong in this world. 

To end this post, I'd just like to say that I love each and everyone of you, and I wish only the best for you. I hope we can share a happy life together on this earth one day. 

Remember, to see the future, look within yourself. To see the past, look at the stars. Both hold the answers to everything.