When darkness keeps on falling

The darkness is starting to take a toll on me.. It's been around two or three weeks now since I last saw the sun. I've never been the person who's scared of a bit of darkness in winter time, some people get depressed, I don't. But this kind of constant darkness is hard to prepare for! It's mostly noticable on weekends when you sleep in and have heaps of leisure time, you go up late in the morning into the kitchen to make breakfast and yet it's still dark, and you're body is wondering "should I still be sleeping?" haha! And then the day continues on in the same manner - the hours go by and even though you're doing things, every time you look out the window there's a creeping feeling of unnaturalness, and the body is still waiting for that sun to appear somehow. But the sun doesn't appear, and when you take a look at what time it is, it's suddenly night again (not that you would know otherwise)

It feels a little bit better as soon as you step outside though, for a walk or whatnot. The cold air is invigorating. However, it's still dark, and sometimes that cold/snow/wind can be a slap in your face.

I went to the museum the other day, a lazy sunday activity, and the more I learned about the history of Svalbard, the sader I got. It's a tale of trappers and the gory, raw and unsympathetic reality that reigned. People came here not only for freedom, adventure and exploration, but exploitation (or so I would say). Whale hunting, walrus hunting, seal hunting, fox hunting, bird hunting, polar bear hunting, hunt hunting - kill until there's nothing left, seems to have been their motto.. By the end of the walk through all the exhibitions, I felt sick.

I guess there's a few different ways of looking at the dark season up here, either it's like living inside a cold tomb, or, it's like floating inside your mother's womb. It's a struggle between wanting to go into hibernation and be up and about - trying to maintain some sort of routine.

Looking at it through a positive perspective though, it's quite a magical period, of northern lights and glimmering stars. It's not hard to imagine you're in another part of the universe. I think this is the first time I don't feel an urge to visit another world in this dimension, because being here has really made me realise the huge variation in our own (that, and honestly, just watching nature documentaries). It's a big world we live in, so much to learn and see, we don't even know the half of it. What makes me so sad though, is that most people are just too wrapped up in the consumer society to see that - still just eyes on all the exploitation possibilities.

But anyway, I'm definitely starting to notice some side effects of this neverending darkness.. It isolates you, and forces you to take a good look at yourself, literally, because every time you try to look out the window, all you see is your own reflection.